Having to relocate your innovative enterprise can be a risky business. Especially if the venture in question has been visited frequently by officers of the law. There are some things you must keep in mind if you want to restore your business to its glory days. Here’s a how to:
Step 1: Read the law
Haryana Excise Policy, Clause 1.2.1: No person to whom a license for retail JUICE outlet is
granted can establish the same on such premises as is situated at a distance of less than 150
meters from the main gate of a recognized school/ college/ main bus stand and a place of
worship.
But also
"The Excise Commissioner can relax such distance for the location..”
Scrounge up some mithai and diwali money (it is the festive season after all).
Step 2: Measuring scale
Maybe Google Maps is messing up your distance estimates. Think of it this way. If you can make out the facial features of your young customers signing out, then you’re too close. Scoot over to the side.
Step 3: Marketing
Discounts! 1+1 deals! Seek help from your nearest Ecofin major Ent minor to get your business off the ground! Maybe invest in a variety of cheap university student friendly options that preferably do not lead to some magical moments.
Step 4: Competition
Luckily, your nearest competitor is significantly further away from the customers. Unfortunately for you, they do not sell spiked JUICE. Invest in step 3, and remember, good publicity goes a long way. Yes, the fairy lights were a good decision.
Step 5: Be nice
Yes, most of your young customers are spoilt fucks but they are less likely to approach you if you start by insulting their sisters and their dicks. They get much nicer after they’re inebriated :)
Putting yourself on the map can be tough, especially when you have had to shift your business and your local business partner got arrested (and all he did was run a Goa-themed cafe and weekly DJ). It is important to not give up when profits peak on thursday and most of your customers seem to have forgotten about you. Bouncing back stronger can take time, but it will happen. Till then, consider trying your own product :)
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