Befriending an Economics major at Ashoka isn’t for the faint-hearted but here we are with a comprehensive guide to help you through it.
Stage 1
The one where it all starts! Kids bustle into the campus with wide-eyed enthusiasm and a desire to over-explain market concepts to every person who agrees to listen to them. After all, why shouldn’t they? Theirs is the only “employable degree” ever to exist (even as newbies, they know enough to ignore CS majors like CS majors ignore social cues). All you have to do at this stage is be a good listener as they drone on about how they’re wasting all their time at useless FCs like EVS and L&W.
Stage 2
This stage starts around Sem 2 and is characterized by periodic rants of “AMS fucked me over” and can be seen through the pivot in group convos from Saroj Didi appreciation to Pant diss tracks. It’s actually quite a fun sight to watch the ups and downs of their lives turn into convexes (no 8:30 classes yippee) and concaves (very strongly imploring people all around for a calculator 15 seconds before their exam).
An average Econ major at this point would be at least one rejection in (AIC/ACC) and might regret not applying to AUES or even worse, the B-club ( they knew what they were doing putting a B in there).
Stage 3
These, ladies and gentlemen, are the big leagues! It is key to develop a strategy during summer itself and stick to it as the semester starts. Unless you have the patience of the admin when it comes to replacing “misplaced” marlers in classes every day, DO NOT engage with Econ majors for the first 3 weeks (or however long Shopping Week is for you).
If you decide not to heed this warning, you can see the beautiful hate part of their love-hate relationship with their major bloom. Once they’ve received their gut-wrenching course combination (there somehow seems to be no good one?!?!), marvel at their naivete as they try to cope with the dread by plastering graphs on every surface that they can.
Fake giggle as they joke about their Stats grades with smiles that don’t quite reach their eyes. Mutter in agreement as you see them talking about people who took away all the good internships during the summer because this was the summer they turned petty (geddit?).
Stage 4
You seem like a tough one if you’ve made it this far. This is actually where it gets easy. All you need to do from hereon is administer regular head-pats when your Econ major buddy’s eyes gloss over and you hear them mumbling their usual jargon of “Deloitte, EBITDA, plis come bacc Sabya”. Nod in sympathy (again, fake it if required) as they talk about their jobs and internships even as you wonder how most of these opportunities would vanish if rich people just got off their asses and managed their own money.
Diligentlly comment “Congrats!!!!!!!” on their LinkedIn posts about their latest consulting gig where they prepared a product for market re-entry (helped make your Bumble profile for the 10th time) or that investment banking gig where they guided a group of investors to make the right choice between two lucrative opportunities (helped a bunch of drunk juniors decide between Dhaba and Roti Boti thali on a Thursday night).
Stage 5
This is what all the trauma bonding, library sessions, a gazillion club meetings, selling their soul on LinkedIn, and pretending to read The Economic Times has culminated into – the placement season. As someone with a non-Econ major, it truly is a sight to watch what can only be described as the Ashokan Hunger Games. After all, the promise of employability is the biggest pull in the Economics playbook.
All you can do at such a time is stand by your besties and support them however you can. Examples include-
getting them a coffee
hugging them
lending your business formals to them that you haven’t worn since that one MUN in grade 11
obtaining that one relative’s phone number who is a finance hotshot and pleading with them to hire your beloveds
bringing Phineas and Ferb to life to make them build a time machine so that you can go back in the past and tell your friends to do anything else with their lives).
You get the gist.
That’s it! All you have to do now is lather, rinse, and repeat these steps for when they ultimately end up staying for ASP ;)
i forgot about the smaller details but my gosh this is so so accurate T-T