It’s often said that World War 3 will be fought over water. However, the Ashokan administration didn’t have their glasses on when they read that quote. In a flash, their number one enemy went from the Edict to good old H2O.
The worst crime any water cooler had committed was simply occasionally being host to the fingers of RH3 residents (citation below).
As such, they were unsuspecting; why would anyone have anything against them? But the administration were not willing to let such an affront slide. As Sun Tzu said in The Art of War, ‘Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt.’ Well-versed in the tactics of warfare thanks to being in the battlefront known as Sonipat, Admin heeded his words. In the dead of winter break, when not a whisper was heard on campus, they struck. Coolers were seized and mercilessly dragged into the shadows, never to be heard from again. A lone survivor remained on the second floor of the mess, but soon passed due to radiation from the TKS chilli chicken. By the time students returned, the familiar comfort of temperature-controlled and slightly thumb-flavoured water was nowhere to be found.
That’s not all though. Confidential informants have revealed that the admin have now turned their sights towards the showers. For everyone but CS majors, this is a devastating blow. The leaks state that the action admin aims to take is the shortening of hot water timings by 1 hour. This heartless deed shows that admin will truly stop at nothing in this blitzkreig. As the battle escalates, we must be prepared to lose a lot more. And also learn to love body odour.
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