After 12:30 on a Thursday night, you find Ashokans in a number of common places. The drunks go to the mess; the catatonic drunks go to their rooms; the unfortunate drunks go to the warden’s office; the list is endless. Different kinds of people stick to their respective haunts, but there’s one tenet of Ashokan infrastructure that brings everyone together: the bleachers. The bleachers on Thursday are a true reflection of the Ashokan zeitgeist. A bonafide melting/smoking pot, there is no other place on campus where you find the sober, the sexual and the sloshed existing in harmony.
The sober folks are usually found either tending to their inebriated friends or staying as far away from their inebriated friends as possible. They may be heard complaining about the fact that they have too much coursework to party, or just simply enjoying the sights and community of the bleachers.
Next, we arrive at the sexual. The most common types include couples, situationships, and the unsuspecting third party with someone in a situationship. Whether because of exhibitionism or a lack of options, many of them find themselves at the bleachers. They are typically observed exploring the anatomy of each other’s tonsils. Their greatest contribution to the atmosphere of the bleachers is the constant reminder that love is everywhere, maybe even a mere 4 inches away.
The bleachers are a strange place for the sauced folks. For whatever reason, they elicit exactly the thing that people get sauced to avoid: introspection. No other circumstances enable Ashokans to have moments of clarity the same way. Common themes include:
their absentee father and the cognizance that they as a baby may have simply had bad vibes that drove him away
the void in their soul that no amount of partying seems to fill
the realisation that Munni Badnaam lowkey slaps
When asked about their favourite place on campus, few people name the bleachers. This article should serve as a reminder that no matter who you are, the bleachers have a space for you (except Kalinga members: you guys can go be annoying fucks somewhere else).
Comments