3 P.M- I wake up from a 5 hour nap in a crazed panic. I realise I have a paper due 18 hours from now and an exam in 24 hours, which I have predictably not studied a thing for.
4 P.M.- I change out of my ratty sweatshirt, which last saw the washing machine in 2016, and bravely make my way to the library cafe to engage in communal panic with some 20-odd classmates I bump into every 5 minutes.
7 P.M.- Three hours of severe procrastination later, this is it. The library. I take a deep breath and resentfully shove my backpack into one of those horrible cubicles at the bottom, because all the good ones have been taken up by the studious types who have been here since last night.
7:45 P.M.- I feel a disproportionate sense of accomplishment on having written the first two lines of my paper. I can already feel the world kissing my feet. What an excellent analysis! What fine writing! Forget getting an A, perhaps I should submit my work to an internationally renowned journal!
8 P.M- Watch me. I am an academic weapon, Hermione Granger, Rory Gilmore, JEE Topper, success story, motivational videos-fueled girlboss.
9 P.M.- I quit.
9:15 P.M- On principle, I do not drink coffee (I am better than everyone) so I am escaping to my room to steal from my over-provided roommate's stash of masala chai sachets.
9:55 P.M- Ok, the tea break was supposed to be a 10 minute affair. But I have spent the past 40 minutes scrolling endlessly on Instagram and taking various dubious personality tests based on things like whether or not I like ketchup with my fries (as matter of fact I don’t, and this makes me a psychopath).
11:37 P.M.: Is that him? I never see him at the library wait is that oh my god that is her and wait wait why is she walking in with him she has a boyfriend why are they holding hands? It is now my moral obligation to drop everything to clandestinely click a picture and send my friend an update.
12:30 A.M: The gossip girl within me dies an uneventful death upon discovering from my aforementioned friend that there are 5 more chapters in the syllabus than I thought there were.
1:45 A.M: Return of the academic weapon!
2:30 A.M: First draft of assignment over so I take yet another ‘well-deserved’ break.
2:55 A.M: I have gone down the YouTube-video binge watching rabbit hole. From trying to understand the Central Limit Theorem, I have somehow landed on a video explaining whether Shah Rukh Khan is a member of the Illuminati.
4:50 A.M: Somehow I struggle through 15 slide decks worth of course material, all of which looks brand-new to me.
6 A.M. : I wonder for the nth time this year why I decided to do an Econ major. Then I remember that I’m not a medical student, thank my lucky stars, and move on.
7:30 A.M: Sunshine. Water. Air. Sleep. Please.
8 A.M.: After what seems like an eternity, I leave the library for a quick catnap. Then, I see a Google Classroom notification and resign myself to my fate. To know what happened next, scroll to the top.
Comments